#A pathological fear of rejection and perfectionism how toThere is a stark difference between being self-reflective and understanding how to admit to and learn from your own mistakes versus judging yourself so harshly that mistakes are intolerable. I would argue that the second part of this definition, self-criticism, is the most harmful. Perfectionism can be defined as having excessively high standards and being overly self-critical. Students tell me all the time, “I am a perfectionist.” In my conversations with students, I point out that having high standards for yourself is a good thing, but the very definition of being perfect, indeed means that you have failed since nothing can actually be 100 percent all of the time. Some perfectionists wear this label like a badge of honor. Patients often benefit from additional training.Many people describe themselves as perfectionists. When ready and interested, teach coping skills to help diffuse tension and troubling feelings Reduce manipulation through consistency, limit setting, and unit or community rulesīe assertive when setting limits on unreasonable demands for time and attentionīe nonjudgmental and respectful when listening to thoughts, feelings, or complaintsĮncourage to explore feelings and concerns Irritability, anger - Use interventions before escalation Intervene in times of intense and labile mood swings, anxiety, depression, and irritabilityĪnxiety - teach stress reduction techniques such as deep breathing, relaxation, meditation, and exerciseĭepression - might need meds to improve mood. Identify skills needed to reach their goalsĪssess self-mutilating or suicidal thoughts or behaviors Help set realistic short-term goals for future. Set goals realistically, and revise as needed. Provide honest and genuine feedback regarding observations to strengths and areas that could use additional skills Disputes need to be strong, specific, and nonjudgmentalĭiscourage from dwelling on and reliving past mistakesĭiscourage from making repetitive self-blaming and negative remarksįocus questions in positive and active way to help refocus on present and look to future Teach to reframe and dispute cognitive distoritions. Help recognize cognitive distortions, impact on emotion, and influence on behavior. Review types of cognitive distortions that affect self-esteem Target strengths and weakness in performance at work, school, and ADLs Target strengths and weaknesses r/t physical appearance, sexuality, and personality Keep in mind patient might defend against feelings through blaming, projection, anger, passivity, and demanding behaviorsĪssess self-perception. Maintain neutral, calm, and respectful manner Have a preoccupation with neatness, perfectionism, and mental and interpersonal control? Show rigidity and stubbornness? Have excessive need to be taken care of, show clinging behaviors within relationships, or have an intense fear of separation? Have difficulty making everyday decisions without an excessive amount of advice and reassurance from others? Persistently avoid social situations because of feelings of inadequacy and hypersensitivity to negative evaluation? View self as socially inept or inferior to others? Have a pattern of excessive emotionality and attention-seeking behaviors (sexually seductive or provocative)? Have self-dramatic, theatrical, and exaggerated expressions of emotion?Īct grandiose, need admiration, and lack empathy for others? Have unreasonable expectations of favored treatment? Act interpersonally exploitive? Have a pattern of unstable and chaotic personal relationships? Have hx suicide attempts or self-mutilation? Have chronic feelings of emptiness, or show intense anger, intense anxiety, and dysphoria? Have pervasive pattern of disregard for and violation of the rights of others? Act deceitfully (repeated lying, use of others for own needs)? Act consistently irresponsible toward others? Have hx of social and interpersonal deficits marked by acute discomfort? Have any cognitive or perceptual distortions? Suspect others of exploiting or deceiving him or her? Bear grudges and not forget insults?ĭetach self from social relationships? Not desire close relationships or being part of a family? Take pleasure in few if any activities?
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